Well hello! My Rangertard roommate is taking a break from sending me emails about leaving “major lights” on in our apartment to co-live-blog the NATIONALLY TELEVISED Islanders vs. Rangers slapfest with me. We unfortunetly get ‘Joe’ Beninati and Billy Jaffe instead of Hottie Howie Rose calling the game, but it’s all good. Puck is about to drop. LET’S GET BUSY.

7:14 pm – Joe Beninati alludes to the “brave souls” wearing Islanders jerseys at the game. I love when national guys parachute in to do these games.

7:15 pm – Beltway Insider Billy Jaffe scoops on DP’s groin tightness, which will go away the day after his contract expires in 23230912.ˆ

7:16 pm – The bitters get the “Potvin Sucks!” chant going. None of these people know what this means.

7:17 pm – FRITZ VS ORR ! Fritz bleeds everywhere, brief fight, fin.

7:20 pm – My roommate isn’t sold on this Marc Staal person at all.

7:21 pm – Okposo gets drilled a SCRUM is in progress! Dawes and Comrie (seriously?). HDuff is concerned! Comrie landing some blows against Dawes and the refs step in. Spicy!

7:24 pm – The Islanders medical staff has a new solution for all injuries: very firm hugs. Such an uncomfortable looking video, what with all that swaying going on. Prucha dives and the Rangers get a powerplay.

7:26 pm – Paul Mara is terrible on the point and I feel a shorthanded goal coming on. Billy Jaffe agrees and references the 2 “shorties” they scored against the Rangers last year. Jeff Tambellini has 1 more goal than I do so his presence on the powerplay makes infinite sense.

7:29 pm – Scott Gomez makes much money. I don’t get it and Spence doesn’t either. So very overrated.

7:30 pm – The guy in this Sleepy’s commerical is nightmare inducing. Get away!

7:31 pm – Bill Guerin being interviewed on the bench by a blond person. Has never scored a goal on Lundqvist which is sort of interesting. Interviewer putting hand on shoulder, Guerin trying  not to notice.

7:32 pm – SNARK from Joe Beninati: “The Islanders are allergic to their white sweaters, having lost 10 in a row on the road”. Catskills humor at MSG, I love it.

7:34 pm – YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. Hunter smushes Kalinin into his own man, Kalinin coughs it up to Hunter who sets up Sillinger (he’s still on this team?) for his SECOND goal of the year and the ISLES ARE UP 1-0. Billy Jaffe might have called Kalinin a d-bag. I don’t have tivo.

7:37 pm – Kalinin touches the puck and the bitters shower him with boos. Kalinin is now Marek Malik.

7:39 pm – Brian Engblom AND Keith Jones in the studio between periods. BE looks like a cross between Butters from South Park and an ice cream cone and Keith Jones is worse.

7:42 pm – Paul Mara convulsing and yelling at whoever about the dumb penalty he just took. SUCH a grizzly with that beard. Drury gets stopped on a shorthanded attempt by MacDonald and THAT IS IT for period one. Join me for part 2!